Unwanted Facebook Spam is Unwanted

This post has been saved 3 times from being a total rage at someone who might end up at this blog for some weird reason, so this time, I’m going to attempt to write it nicely.

First off, let me say that I HATE Facebook spam. I want to use Facebook to connect with friends, post funny videos (frequently [and hopefully] to the amusement of my friends and family) and start arguments with people who are my “friends” but who may have some annoying views or tendencies that I, as an avid internet troll, feel the need to correct (albeit with the ability to blame my “fat-angry-kid-in-front-of-a-computer” rages on solar flares or eclipses or, far more believable, 1337 H4X!).

This is a Gir. It is the most useless invention known to man.

My point is; when I come home from being out for a few hours and my inbox is filled with “so-and-so played 剛用 [他/她爱你有多少？] 分析了 [鄺加加]!
結果是 and suggested you 剛用 [他/她爱你有多少？] 分析了 [鄺加加]!
結果是!”

I WANT TO HURT YOU. Do I look like I can read mandarin? I don’t even know if that IS mandarin! For all I know it could be some weird alien language with clicks and guttural howls. Maybe that’d interest me! but I know that’s just wishful thinking since the notification is accompanied by a Hello Kitty image that’s smiling and waving.

THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER YOU HAPPY-GO-LUCKY KITTY!

It’s like some weird Gwen Stefani dream, only worse, because I know that it’s not a dream, and that this person is not a figment of Gwen’s imagination. It’s like I’m stuck in a Japanese remake of Nightmare on Elm Street and the creepy burn victim with claws has been replaced with a harajuku girl with a Gir backpack and kitten whiskers drawn her face giving me the peace sign.

So if you do this sort of shit to your friends, even if it’s spam of the same language, I urge you;

STOP. STOP IT. STOP!

Neither myself nor your friends care that you need help with next season’s harvest in Farmville. All we want to do is get off this damn planet and join our friends at the academy. I’m going to get some blue milk.

~Das